So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
