There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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