does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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