i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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