She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
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