is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
