i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
