they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
