smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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