We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
