how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize