I wanna passion pit in your ass
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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