he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
what day is it and did you see me today?
My pussy is not your playground.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
