tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
