I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i think i have herpe
just one?
My balls are so social today.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
