Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I skipped work to stalk him.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
