Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
