I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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