what day is it and did you see me today?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
