i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
