think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
