Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
