shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
