:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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