He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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