Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
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