He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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