Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
