I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
