I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
