Just cropdusted the office
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
