I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
