He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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