I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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