dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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