Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
zippers are such a cool invention
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
