Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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