Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
