I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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