Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
