i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
