I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
