Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
