i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
