is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
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