Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize