I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
As shirtless as possible
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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