I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
