Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Randomize
