did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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