this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
