okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
This baby is an asshole
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
