i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
