I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
