Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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