how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
