Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
