You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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