That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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