I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
