If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
