I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
