i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
