if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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