he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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