I wish I only lived at night.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Let's get the cat blown out
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize