Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
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