This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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