Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
