Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
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