U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
a search helicopter?!
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
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