Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
