I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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