Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
