If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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