Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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