ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
