I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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