thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize