me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
